Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
