WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he puts the penis in happiness.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
