Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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