My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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