And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
