Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize