They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize