Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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