saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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