Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
