Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
