its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
