Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
