How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
stop calling my apartment porn island.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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