i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
