Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize