Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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