drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
