Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
