I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
