I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
