I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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