I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
