If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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