Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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