i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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