I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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