I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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