seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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