I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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