I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
