Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize