She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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