Please, let me fuck your mom
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
