you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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