Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
