I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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