Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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