I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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