We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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