I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
