That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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