I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
