Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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