He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize