I bet he comes in French.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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