Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you win again, gameday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
