Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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