its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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