yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
