can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
