1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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