omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
