sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
