is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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