I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
