I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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