I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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