Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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