oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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